Q: How many Windows programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 472 -- One to write WinGetLightBulbHandle(), one to write WinQueryStatusLightBulb(), one to write WinGetLightSwitchHandle()...
Q: How many telephone support technicians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: We have an exact copy of the light bulb here, and it seems to be working fine. Can you tell me what kind of system you have? Okay. Now, exactly how dark is it? Okay, there could be four or five things wrong...have you tried the light switch?
Q: How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: First. although we've heard reports from the field of light bulbs burning out, we believe that they are isolated incidents and do not provide sufficient proof that light bulbs burn out and need to be changed. Second, the bulbs that do burn out do so because of customer error. Third, the technicians that reported the burned-out light bulbs have been reported to Human Resources as not being team players.
Q: How many testers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: We just find the problems, we don't actually fix the problem.
Q: How many Microsoft technicians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 3 -- 2 holding the ladder and 1 to screw the bulb into the faucet.
Q: How many MIS guys does it take to change a light bulb?
A: MIS has received your request concerning your hardware problem and has assigned you request service number 39712-A. Please use this number for any future references to this light bulb issue.
Q: How many C++ programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: You're still thinking procedurally. A properly designed light bulb object would inherit a change method from a generic light bulb class, so all you'd have to do is send a light-bulb-change-message.
Q: How many developers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: The light bulb works fine on the system in my office...
Q: How many shipping department personnel does it take to change a light bulb?
A: We can change the light bulb in seven to ten working days, but if you call before 2 pm, and pay an extra $15, we can get the light bulb changed overnight.
Q: How many Microsoft engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. Bill Gates will just redefine Microsoft Darknessâ„¢ as the new industry standard.
Q: How long does it take a DEC repairman to change a lightbulb?
A: It depends on how many burned-out bulbs he brought with him.
Q: How many Newton users does it take to change a light bulb?
A: FouR there to eAt LeMons, axe gravy soup.
Q. How many computer geeks does it take to change a light bulb?
A: "What, you mean it's dark in here?"
Q. How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three. One to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
Q. How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
Q. How many IBMers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 100. Ten to do it, and 90 to write document number GC7502439-0001, Multitasking Incandescent Source System Facility, of which 10% of the pages state only "This page intentionally left blank," and 20% of the
definitions are of the form "A...consists of sequences of non-blank characters separated by blanks."
Q. How many Macintosh users does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
Q. How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, but he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adapter card first, which is extra.
Q. How many system administrators does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. Just remove the rights of everybody allowed to go into the room.